


An Angel Fell

by SporadicReader



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley lost Aziraphale, Emotional Hurt, F/F, Female Aziraphale (Good Omens), Female Crowley (Good Omens), Hurt, Ineffable Wives (Good Omens), Ineffable Wives | Female Aziraphale/Female Crowley (Good Omens), Lost Love, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:40:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24982492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SporadicReader/pseuds/SporadicReader
Summary: Crowley‘s thoughts about the loss of Aziraphale.(FemCrowley/FemAziraphale)
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 4





	An Angel Fell

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! :)  
> I hope you enjoy this short fanfiction, even though it’s kinda sad. ^^'  
> Moreover, I don’t own anything Good Omens. I’m just writing for fun and making no profit. :)  
> -SporadicReader

Step by step, the fog lifts slowly… even though I wish it wouldn't. Sometimes, it’s just better when you’re not capable of seeing anything. At least, it will start raining soon. I can‘t stand the sunlight right now. Honestly, I never really  
could. 

The milky white stone looks just as heavy as the stone in my chest. The letters are cut deep, exactly like the scars in the broken pieces of my soul, and some are already filled with dirt or dead grass. My chest tightens as I slowly bend a knee, bowing over her grave. I lay one hand on the stone, letting it flood me with cold. I‘m sorry, races through my head, a hundred times, a thousand times, too often to count.

Memories of her flash quickly, from when I first met her in Eden and the last time I saw her. There was a chance… I should have found a way. I curse myself, and not for the first time this day. I should be buried at this place and not her. She deserves so much better than this. 

I can still remember the first day we met 6000 years ago, but I never thought she would be that important to me. She was the love that came without any warning and she had my heart before I could say no. It was not love at first sight exactly, but… familiarity. A sense of belonging to a place I never knew I wanted, but somehow always needed. She was the angel that was my home, the owner of my heart and my soulmate. She always said to me that soulmates are those people who enter your life, fix it when it’s broken and fill it when it’s empty - they are rare because they only happen once. And now I‘ve lost this other part of me. 

The wind turns icy and I realize that I have no one who could help me. Not anymore. That was her job, and she is gone. Gone. Some say a few people are capable of pulling others out of the darkness and they would brighten their life like the sun. But she was not my sun. She was like the moonlight. She didn‘t pull me out of my former darkness - she was the moonlight that makes it possible to survive in the sheer, endless darkness. She made it bearable, so much that I could almost greef the darkness as a friend. Certainly, it’s easier to pull someone out of the darkness than to ensure that it‘s possible to handle it, to survive it. 

And now, her moonlight is gone. I think about that mercilessly, over and over again - still too afraid to say the words out loud - until I‘m finally capable of admiting it: she is dead. She is dead and there‘s nothing I can do against it.  
I lost her and this thought tears me up inside. I will never see her again. Her blonde curls, her big blue eyes and her smile that brightens my day, even when I thought nothing makes sense anymore. She had this incredible way of making my demon heart happy, but her lost also breaks it at the same time. But you know you truly love someone when you can’t hate them for breaking your heart. 

And I will always love you. I love you because you always made me feel that I’m worth something, even as a demon. I love you because you always made me smile when I had no reason to or almost forgotten how. I love you because your angelic heart and soul were the most beautiful things I was allowed to see. I love you for the ability to love a demon and finally saying that we are on our side. I love you and everything little detail about you. I love you for being just you - my clumsy and beautiful angel. 

I hold the signed vintage ring she gave me a few months ago. It‘s the last physical connection to her. It is so hard to give it up, even though I know I have to. I kneel and plant the small silver thing in the wet dirt. It must be left here, memorizalising our bond we have. Both of our rings shouldn’t be seperated like we are right at the moment. 

When I rise, it‘s like the autuum wind is whispering, talking to me. You will find a reason to live for sure. It sounds just like her voice. But deep in my broken soul, I can feel that I can‘t let her go. I never will. My whole soul and heart will always have feelings for her. I know that she would want me to move on and try my best to be happy, but I know that I’ll never be capable of moving on and leave her behind.

When the rain comes down, my face is already wet. I‘m just so relieved that I’m only dreaming and this is nothing more than a horrible nightmare. Or isn‘t it?

**Author's Note:**

> Please review. :)


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